Building Rider Confidence

She is 10 years old, and weighs little more than my left leg. Her horse,Kiowa, is a young mustang out of Virgina City Range stock. Being young and green, the horse spooked a bit in the woods and her rider came off--the kind of thing that can unnerve a rider. Terry rode Kiowa hard for several days. Last week her little owner, who had been riding other horses while we put some miles on Kiowa, mounted up on her horse and joined in on a early morning week day ride.

Yesterday was the first day she took Kiowa out with a large group of riders. The horse did great. The rider did great. The horse achieved. The rider achieved.

Both gained confidence.

 Both matured.

Consider how it could have gone the other way. Children today live in a society that encourages them to give into fear. Parents today live in a society that encourages them to believe that the role of a parent is to buy the child everything that suits the latest whims of society and to "protect" their child by making sure that the child is never challenged, physically or emotionally. Some children give up riding because of a second of fear and three minutes of pain.

That is a step towards living a lifetime shackled with fear and self doubt.

Some parents would encourage the child to give up riding so long as it is what the child "really wants to do."
Other parents might go in for a compromise of selling the horse and getting one that is "bomb proof" and old.

 The message to the child is simple. "You are not capable of overcoming this challenge." The child comes to believe that she can overcome no challenges and must always take the safe way out.

Another rider is very bright and willing to push herself a bit. She has decided that she would like to take on the lead role in the training of a wild Corolla. Yesterday, she put the horse into the round pen and , as I sat outside the round pen, she took the horse through round pen work, lunging, despooking, and then saddled him. I got in and held the horse as she prepared him for mounting. Within 20 minutes the horse was calmly walking around on the lead, which I held safely, while carrying her young trainer on her back.

The horse's fear melted like snow on a warm winter day. The trainer was afraid when she mounted up. That is the key point. She did not loose all fear and then hopped on. That does not take any courage. She got on although she was afraid.

That is what takes courage. That is what gives confidence.

Parents who teach children that the world will bend to their wishes do them the greatest of disservices. The world is often cold, mean, and dark. The doctor sometimes comes in and says that the test results look very bad. The job that one wants often does not fall into one's hands. Those close to you suffer and die. Friends disappear.

It is one of the primary duties of a parent to prepare a child to live in that world. It is also the job of the little league coach, the scout leader, the Sunday school teacher, the guidance counselor, and the riding instructor.

Solid parenting demands that one create confident children. And to make them strong--strong like grown horses.

(Kay painted this on the Red Barn behind the little house. It sums up beautifully why my little riders tame wild horses and ride 30, 40, and for many of them, 50 miles in a day.)