The Count Down

Christmas--exercised and trained some horses, December 26-Plan to ride hard and deep into the woods by myself--Snowed out--December 27--Plan for a hard ride with some of my riders and horse training with some kids--Snowed Out, December 28--plan to ride, train, write, build , build , build,--But I fear that I will be snowed out--December 29--JK plans to come down and ride with me on December 29,2010.

It was not snowing December 29, 2008. The sun was shining and it was in the high forties. During the holidays we kept a bare bones staff at the office. December 29, 2008 at about 9:30 the phone rang. It was my brother Casey.

"It was a hunting accident," Casey said, "He's gone. Lido's gone."

I called my wife and told her. I called Rebecca and told her to advise the riders' families and explain that I wanted everyone that could to be at the house to be there and that I wanted no one crying in my presence. She handled everything beautifully.

One never knows how one will handle such things. Perhaps it is true that with so many little riders looking up to me I have a duty to only show them a happy face. But that is not how the last two years have been. Though not everyone agrees, I think that I have shown them something that matters. I have not given in. I have not given up. I have kept going. I think that that is a lesson worth learning.

The funeral was as good as funeral's get. My family played some Carter Family songs that I used to play with Lido. Rebecca did a beautiful solo. It is likely true that his eulogy was the last great public statement that I will ever make. I no longer dazzle crowds when I step up to a microphone. In fact, whatever was there is gone. But I still step up to those microphones.

Right after the funeral I threw myself into planning our first 100 Mile in Two Days Ride. It distracted me and gave me something to look forward to.

For the last several days I have been planning our next fifty mile ride. It still distracts me and gives me something to look forward to.

To all of those who, with the best of intentions, would like to see my face locked in a perpetual smile I must point out that they have failed to understand two very important points. Those points may be put simply--things have been tough. I have been tougher.

That is enough.