Friday, December 4, 2020

Who Could That Be Knocking at My Door?

I am writing post this for two reasons. The first is to give a big thank you to Audrey, Ariyanna, and Ella. The second is to talk candidly about the impact that the virus is having on me. I think it important to do so because I am experiencing feelings and emotions that are utterly alien to me. I suspect that the same is happen to many readers of this blog. Not long ago I did a post concerning my extreme desire to own a metal resonating guitar. Such covetedness is not in keeping with my character. It had been decades since I had a strong desire to own anything for myself,

I have always felt an intense responsibility for the safety and happiness of those around me, particularly those in our program. I find that as the pandemic worsens that feeling of responsibility is deepening. 

The horse lot was once a place of great relaxation and security for me. As the virus worsens that is no longer the case. I have even developed paralyzing avoidance behaviors--primarily in terms of not being able to check my emails or keep up with the program's facebook page.

And here is the point of why I am writing this now. Many of our readers are involved in equine and youth programs. I doubt that I am alone in experiencing this reduction in functionality. I suspect that it is very widespread. 

But I am afraid that too few people understand the link between the virus and the changes that they are experiencing in their reactions to the world around them. I am dealing with these issues by exercising hard, doing a lot of hard physical work and eating healthier. 

But that is not enough. The most important thing that I am doing is stepping back and recognizing that these unpleasant changes will go away when we recover from this virus. I remind myself that I have not changed permanently and when the world resumes normality I will be able to go back to who I used to be.

If you do not recognize yourself anymore it might help to understand that the deterioration of your character need not be a permanent wound.

And now for the greatest reason that I am writing this post. Last night Audrey, Ariyanna, and Ella brought over a big box, beautifully wrapped with a deeply touching and meaningful card. When I opened the big box I found a brand new Gretch Honey-Dipper Round Neck Resonator guitar!

The girls took the money that they made from busking and purchased this guitar for me. I cannot tell you how happy it made me to tune it up and start working the slide on it. Over the past decade I have developed an interest in Mississippi Delta blues and now I can expand  my playing into that world. 

Slept better last night than I have in a long time. Will be late getting to the horse lot this morning--got to check in on my new guitar and see how it made it through its first night here in my music room.

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