Money is Not Time

The failure of modern horsemanship parallels the failure of modern parenting. Our horses and our children both need the same things from us--our discipline, our affection, and our love. All of these things demand our time. Unfortunately, misplaced priorities lead us to the conclusion that in our hectic lives there simply is not enough time to go around. We do not have time to play ball with our children, talk to our children, or provide them with the most basic of guidance. Instead, we try to make up for the deficit in time by spending incredible amounts of money on our children. There is no time to play ball, work out, jog, or bike with our kids but there is money to buy them the latest computer game to occupy their time. The true pathos is that our advertisement driven culture has convinced so many of us that expending great sums of money on our children is not only proof of our love for them, but even worse, is an adequate substitute for that love.

Our children do not need our money. They need our time.

We are all familiar with horses that appear to be raised only by the Horse Fairy. We never see their owners in the pasture with them. We never see them ridden. We never see them handled.

But we do see the expensive barn in the corner of the lot. We see the fancy halter that the horse wears 24-7. We see that it is at least two hundred lbs over weight, so we know that the Horse Fairy must be giving it really good, expensive feed. When the temperature dips below fifty degrees we see the new expensive blanket that magically appears on the horse.

Our horses do not need our money. They need our time. A horse is never happier than when it can stand near a herd mate, relaxing, breathing slowly, with its head lowered and eyes half closed, knowing that there is no danger, no predator anywhere around. Our horses need us to be that herd mate. One of the reasons that my horses are as close to me as they are is because I enjoy standing near them as the sun goes down, with my head lowered, my gaze averted, breathing slowly, while knowing that there is no danger around. One of the main reasons that my little riders are as successful in starting colts and wild horses is that they learn to love the same things.

There is no spiritual depth acquired by hanging out in a mall, but a kid learns much of life simply hanging out in the pasture.

No, for our horses, and for our kids, time is not money. Time is love.