Even Further Off Topic Than Normal

This blog has a problem with consistency. Not a problem with consistency of views, philosophy, or point of view. They have not changed in all of these years. I have not changed in all of these years. I still believe, every bit as much as I ever have, in natural horsemanship, natural horse care, natural hoof care, Colonial Spanish Horses,the runt of the litter and the stone that builders reject.

Still believe every bit as much as I ever have that the biggest problems horses face today come from mindless adherence to the edicts of the established horse world.

The consistency problem is in subject matter of posts over the years. This blog has touched on a lot of topics over the years. It is a fair criticism to point out that one who expects to find tips on horsemanship when they open a post might find a post on music, death, history, or whatever else is on my mind.

And now I face the simple reality that it is mid December. Time really does help with such things, but getting over the death of one who was among the closest to you is not a linear healing process. Things had really gotten better for the last two years but this year is different.

In my book, "And a Little Child Shall Lead Them", I referred to my youngest brother by his school name, Patrick, instead of calling him Lido. Lido was the first rider to get on most of the wild horses that he and I trained. This was when he was about 11 year old and had cerebral palsy. (There is a great deal about him that you can find in this blog using the search box and typing in Lido.)

On December 29 of 2008 I got a call at the office from one of my brothers telling me that Lido had just been killed in a hunting accident. Though there is no way to objectively measure such things, I have not handled it as well as I would like to have.

Used to have such thoughts all the time, but it has been a long time since it flashed through my mind that I need to pick up Lido to help me with some heavy work. Now it shoots through my mind that I could clear this New Land in no time with Lido's help. Then it started flashing though my mind that I needed to pick up Lido when I finished court so we could get some of the limbs chipped. Then I remember why I can't do that--even after all of these years--still flashes through my mind.

A week ago I had an intense trial with the victim being a little girl with whom I had spent a lot of time getting her emotionally prepared to testify. The morning of the trial I woke up at 1:00 am. I woke up from a dream in which I could put my hand on Lido's face and he would be well for a while, I just had to keep doing it over and over to keep him ok.

And now for the point of this long ramble--This January will mark the twenty fifth year since I have consumed alcohol. Now things are not good right now, but could you imagine how bad they would be if I drank at all?

So don't be surprised when you hear me explaining to my little riders about the genetic components of substance abuse. Don't think it odd when I tell 10 year olds on the tack shed porch that, whether it becomes legal in a few years or not, they should stay away from marijuana. Understand why I explain to the little ones in our music program why we can't go see Gram Parsons or Townes Van Zandt.

And don't be confused about why I discuss the dangers of heroin with shiny faced, smiling, sheltered little kids. More people died from heroin in my county last year than from gun fire.

I expect that they were all once shiny faced and smiling.

Some of them were probably once sheltered too.