Those Good Deals Always Have A Catch To Them

Completely off hand comment--don't even remember the question that prompted it--John McCain said "You get more sentimental as you get older." Powerful observation.

Youth is a time for selfishness, not sentimentality. When you are old and sentimental and those you care about are youthful and selfish a painful clash is inevitable. I rarely find myself close to people of my generation. I find myself drawn to the vitality and innovation of younger minds.

I was born old. Really struck me when someone posted a question about what age children change their views of Santa Claus. I realized that I have no memory of ever believing the story. It seemed patently illogical to me--always.

I was always the oldest kid in the room. That is why when I was a young politician I was always the youngest person in the meeting--always. (What other teenager has a candidate for state wide office at a large gathering turn to them and ask them to " go up there to the microphone and warm up the audience before I speak?"

I was never a kid. I was never irresponsible. I did not get in trouble.

I got people out of trouble.

And now I am a sentimental old man. That means that, whether it looks like it or not, my feelings cover every bit of the surface of an ever thinning skin. Playing music is not so much of a performance to me as it is the sharing of a sacrament with those I care about. I do not play music with strangers. I do not "jam." Even after all of  these years the majority of the times that I have been on stage have been with my brothers and a sister, Daddy, my wife, or my daughters.

Or with young people about whom I care very deeply.

Recently, my sentimentality clashed hard with the natural and entirely age appropriate selfishness of some of these young people. It sent me reeling.

It sent me reeling to the degree that I have been working very hard to come up with options to keep the program running successfully and growing without my active participation in any of the programming.

But that is not going to work. Those I have asked to take over are not being modest--they are simply being realistic--they really cannot run this program the way that it needs to be run.

So I remain the oldest kid in the room and I will continue to run the program and keep it growing and working. That means returning to this blog and getting on a horse again.

It has been a while.