We Don't Have a Drive Through Window at Mill Swamp Indian Horses

I have been doing this for a long time, long enough so that children who learned to ride, tame, train, and work with me are now grown and often return with their own children in tow. It gives me a special perspective on what matters in our program. It is important to consider what these adults have to say to their children during these visits. 

 It is even more important to consider what I never hear them say. The adults do not speak of the "fun" that they had riding. They speak earnestly of the accomplishments that they made as kids in our program. They talk about the role that they had in training horses with us. They talk about exceeding not only their expectations, but their wildest hopes of what was possible. They speak with great pride of riding in weather that their parents had told them was too hot, or too cold to ride in. They never mention meaningless trophies or ribbons, but they know exactly how far they have ridden in a single day. 

They talk about how their parents did not believe that they could ever achieve the goals that they set for themselves as riders and as people. They talk about the land they cleared. They talk about the trees that they helped remove. They talk about the relationships that they built.

 And they talk about change. They talk about what they were like before they joined the program. They talked about how their fears and persistent anxiety abated. They talk about learning to love working for a goal. They talk about feeling that they are part of something. 

Parents who  have ever had such an experience cannot conceive of it, much less understand it. They see it merely as an "activity" to take up a block of a kid's time. The very worst use of what the program has to offer is to use it simply as a tool to manipulate a child's behavior, e.g. "If you do your chores you can go ride a pony." To do so is to choose the drive through window of a fast-food joint over giving a child a consistently healthy diet. 

 Yesterday we had another workday at the horse lot and like all of our workdays it was sparsely attended, especially by the youngest riders. They missed out on the comradery. They missed out on building social skills. They missed out on the chance to learn that they could do more than they thought they could. 

 They missed knowing what it is like to be seven years old and to put so much of your effort into a physical task that you fall over as you work to rip a tree stump out of the ground with your hands.

Even experienced horse people can miss the point of what we do. They can only see the by-product, not the product. Learning to ride and learning natural horsemanship is the by-product. Building character and teaching kids how to have a life of meaning is the product. Learning courage, honesty, compassion, and generosity is the product. 

 Kids learn that self-discipline is freedom. 

 This morning when I woke up, I found this post on Facebook from the proud father of a young lady who is taking full advantage of what the program at Mill Swamp Indian Horses has to offer: 

 "I want to say for the record how proud I am of my daughter for going out to msih to work on a Saturday that she could have spent any other way. I am impressed that she was up before I was ready to go. Good job Grace!"