She got up, retrieved her boot, and came over for me to put her back in the saddle. She never paused in expecting to remount. She never balked at the idea of getting back on. She never asked if she could just walk home.
I asked her why was she did not let the fear keep her on the ground.
"Because I am you Granddaddy," was her entire explanation of her thought process. Now and then kids listen to what you say but they always watch what you do.
And they must be able to count on you to do the things that you say your are going to do. Little things like keeping your commitments to do special things like go to a movie or a park and big things like saying that no matter what happens they can always count on you to listen to any problem that they are having.
When kids are taught that they cannot count on the adults in their lives to follow through on plans and committments they grow up to think that it is ok to fail to keep committments and even worse that the committments of others can never be relied on. This creates not merely chronic instability, but perpetual, unyielding instability.
They come to both not trust anyone to follow through on committments, but also that they must pretend to believe those who make committments, and (in order to keep peace in the family) to refrain from complaining or even pointing out that someone that they love has let them down again.
They grow up to expect and accept claims that, "I will never hit you again....I will never beat our kids like this again...I will never use meth again...I am going to change this time."
A child who is raised in such an environment becomes an adult who is trapped in that environment. A child who is raised to both keep their committments and to expect others to do so will not fall into that trap.
A while ago I told a rider that when a particular colt was born she could name it. We later had a change in horse naming policy and it applied to all of the colts born that year....except the one that I had previously told the rider that she could name. It was a very little thing to me. It was of more significance to the young person. It is very important to me that she understand that she has a right to expect people to keep up their committments.
Which brings us to the point of why I must ride 100 miles in a day at some point over the next few weeks. It has been seven years since I have ridden over 100 miles in a day and initially I decided to do so for my own benefit--to set a goal and achieve it regardless of my age. And then I ran into some heavy obstacles. Because of limited hay in the area we had to reduce hay consumption and replace those lost calories with feed. Feeding the horses horse feed while they are pastured together in very large paddocks can be dangerous. They often kick at each other and run each other away from the feed as it is being put out. I am not comfortable having young people handle that task. The time that I would have been conditioning myself and my horses was limited by the fact that feeding the horses was taking up nearly 1/2 an hour of my time before I had to head out into the office.
But there was a much more serious problem that came up. I have had chronic, off and on pain on my left shoulder caused by tendonitis, bursitis, and/or arthritis for decades. Over the fall it started to make it so that I could not exert my shoulder. The pain, upon exertion of that shoulder, grew to be the worst pain that I have ever had. I have been working with a doctor, physical therapist and have exercised the shoulder hard for about six months. I can use my arm well enough to stop a horse with the left rein. I have not fallen from a horse in about 50 days. My last fall was one of the easiest falls that I have ever had. I gently landed hands first and my should flexed to support me.
The pain nearly caused me to pass out. I became very nauseous and I have never had such difficulty remounting. Turkey season, a super heavy case load at the office and the slowly healing shoulder caused me to postpone the ride from March to early June. I will make some changes in my plan to make it safer. I will be accompanied on most of the 20 miles circuits through the woods with an experienced rider, in the event that I fall and cannot remount by myself. I have lost forty pounds since Labor Day so when I hit the ground I will not be doing so with as much force as I would have at 232 pounds.
A lot of the older teens and none of the adults understand why I have to make this ride. It is not a matter of showing how tough I am. I am not looking forward to riding 100 miles in a day but I must admit that I am looking forward to having ridden 100 miles in a day once again.
This ride matters so that my young riders will understand that when one makes a commitment one must follow through, and of even more importance, it is a step toward them understanding that they have an absolute right to expect people in their lives to do what they say they are going to do.
I don't want any of my riders growing up to pretend that they believe that this time, finally, he is going to stop getting high and stealing from the family and beating the kids.
And I want all of my riders to know that if they grow up and ever say that they are going to put down a bottle and leave it down that they will have absolutely no choice but to do so.
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