The Relationship--"But Does My Horse Love Me?"

Don't worry. I have myself all braced for being misunderstood, taken out of context and even having these views intentionally misrepresented.

I am very pleased with the relationship that I have with my main horses. In fact, (and here it comes) I am satisfied with that relationship.

I am satisfied because the question of whether my horse loves me is not the most pressing issue in my relationship with my horses. I cannot force a horse to love me anymore than I can force a person to love me. It is outside my realm of control.

But I can control how I treat my horse. I can control how I feel about my horse. That is why the most important question concerning the relationship is not whether my horse loves me, but whether I love my horse.

(That noise that you just heard was the sound of the hackles of teenage girls who own horses being raised.) I do not understand those who are looking for "the perfect fit" or a "horse that clicks with me". My lack of understanding is not a problem in itself. The problem is that those looking for that form of quasi-romantic relationship with their horse often spend every bit as much time wringing their hands and asking "why does he act like that" as do 13 year old girls with their first boyfriends.

There is a great deal of money to be made by telling these horse owners that if you simply buy the next series of tapes that we are selling your horse will love you. One can make big money by joining in a partnership with a lie and often the truth is a miserable business partner. People will happily pay big money for a complicated lie but they won't take a simple truth even if it is free.

No, I do not worry about whether my horse loves me. But I put a great deal of effort into loving my horse. If I love my horse enough it makes up for any love deficit that might be there on his part. And therein lies the rub for most people with relationship problems with their horse

The problem is that the human has love limitations. The reality is that if one loves their horse enough that feeling will be reciprocated.

Stop asking "why would he treat me like that?"

Instead ask yourself if you love your horse enough.

Do you love your horse enough to....

teach him to be in your control?

allow him to live like a horse evolved to?

allow him to eat like a horse evolved to?

spend your time with him instead of trying to make up for it by spending your money on him?


learn his body language and communicate with him in a way that he can understand?

refuse to equate his "value" with his purchase price or the number of ribbons he wins?

keep him in a comfortably lean state instead of allowing him to be dangerously fat?

exercise him hard regardless of how busy you are or how unpleasant the weather is?

be completely uncaring as to what other think of your horse?

be a constant student of natural horsemanship always researching and looking for better ways to communicate with your horse?

become a lay expert on horse health so you can properly monitor your horse's health?




If you love your horse enough to do those things your horse will love you.

Or you can pay some clinician big money to tell you how to fail less often than you think that you do now.

(The big bay Corolla is a gelding named Creed. He is currently available for adoption through the Corolla Wild Horse Fund. He has been ridden on our woods trails on many occasions and has a long, smooth Corolla gait. He will really be a first rate trail horse. If you would like to help preserve the Corollas one of the best ways to do it is to adopt one of these horses and show your region what a spectacular animal he is).