The Sun Was Shining Five Years Ago Today

And now it is raining--raining hard. But tomorrow the sun will shine again.

In about twenty minutes it will be five years since Lido died. They have been five years of of watching scars grow. The thing about scars that so many people miss is that they are stronger than the skin around them.

Five years ago today my house was filled with my riders by the time I got home from my office. After I got the call I called first my wife and then Rebecca. Rebecca made all the other calls. Except that I called JK.

And today it is raining. And the house is empty. My grandchildren are heading back up to the mountains. Rebecca's family is headed back to Michigan.

Today was the first December 29 that I did not plan something to do. I had our regular Sunday afternoon ride scheduled for this afternoon. But it will be rained out. I may ride anyway. Ruthann, Emily, Lydia, Abby, and Brent taught me that you do not need good weather to ride, all you need is a good horse to ride.

I have made some mistakes in the last five years. Perhaps the biggest was to try to keep from getting too attached to new people in my life. No more loss from death or even just moving away. One cannot loose what one has never had.

"Lewis said to Delia
That's the sad thing about life
There's always some folks leaving
As other folks arrive" ("Folk Blood Bath" Josh Rither).

So, if I didn't let anyone else arrive in my life there would not be anyone there to be leaving.

It really seemed like a good plan.

But.....then Emily H. told me that she needed to ride her horse behind mine because she only felt safe when she rode close to me. Then Charlie said that riding in the woods was "awsome." Then Rebecca and Mark named their son's middle name after Lido. Then Ashley M. stuck her tongue out at me when I told her that her horse could not recognize her because she changed her hair color so often. Then Ashley N. told me that she was happy. Then Hailey started wearing her watch so she could help make sure that everything stayed on schedule. Then Liam said that the horse lot was his "favorite land."  Then Sara lin slipped a cherry tomato into my pocket at the funeral so I would "have something to smile about" when I got home.  Then Abigail asked if she could train a wild Corolla on her own. Then Austin got very serious with his autoharp and Jocylin became the second best three string wooden banjo player in eastern Virginia. Then Emily M. told me that she was coming home. Then Sadie decided to muster the energy to stand up when she played the fiddle. The Colten decided after a performance in the far off land of Suffolk, Virginia that we now qualified as "travelling musicians." Then Samantha became better than me at gentling scared horses.

Then Lydia looked over and nodded and said that "Yea, everything is going to work out."

And I probably could have fended them all off until Attila asked me if it would be alright if he came out early to water the hogs before riding.

So now it is raining and Lido died five years and twenty minutes ago.

And I feel better than I have on any December 29 in the past five years.

In fact, I feel pretty good.

All of you that think running this program is an entirely selfless act are quite naive.