I Would Have Killed Ole Yeller

but I would not have bragged about what a great shot I made on him. OleYeller, from the Disney classic movie, was a beloved family dog who had to be shot by his owner because he had contracted rabies. The death was a pure tragedy, but a purely necessary tragedy.

My coat and tie job often requires me to confront Old Yeller.  As a prosecutor I am viewed by much of the public as being the "good guy." That simplistic view always seemed so silly to me. For a decade I was a defense attorney and I am no more virtuous now then I was then. Most of the people that I prosecute have serious mental problems or suffer from alcoholism or drug addiction. MOST--as in more than fifty percent--much more than fifty percent.  On rare occasions I prosecute someone who  seems to be more than that--someone who seems to embody evil. But that is a very rare occasion.

Dementia that leads to physical abuse--"Lock Him Up." Heroin addiction that leads to shop lifting--"Lock Him Up." Extreme child abuse that produces an angry, violent teen--"Lock Him Up."  Worst of all molestation at age five that creates a victim who becomes a molester at age 14--"Lock Him Up."

I do not enjoy that part of  my job. I strongly feel that anyone who does enjoy it  is not morally fit to do the job. Anyone that takes pride in the creation of pain for defendants and everyone that loves them is not morally fit to be a prosecutor.

I can already hear people thinking "but what about the victims of those crimes.?" Can you read?  I said that I would have killed Ole Yeller. I recognize that society must be protected. I would have killed Ole Yeller, but I would not have enjoyed a second of it. I would have killed Ole Yeller, but I would pray to never have to kill another innocent, but sick and deadly dog. I would have killed Ole Yeller, but I would not feel virtuous for doing so.

The reality is that I have to kill Ole Yeller in many different forms on a regular basis. And it sickens me to do so.

There is one aspect of my job in which I do take a bit of pride. For going on fifteen years I have been handling cases in which children and adults with mental retardation are the victims. I get them through it. They tend to trust me, or at least come closer to trusting me than their life experiences have ever allowed them to trust anyone.

If we all really do have a purpose in life then I have no doubt that this is my purpose.

And they do not trust me because I look like a lawyer. They do not trust me because I act like a lawyer. They do not trust me because I dress like a lawyer. In nearly every case they like me better with a beard. (If a case is going to trial with out a guilty plea I always allow the victim to decide if I should shave or not and I let them pick my tie.)


They trust me because I have a three legged goat who I care greatly about. They trust me because  I care about one eyed horses. They trust me because I have never loved a horse because it was pretty. I have only loved horses because they were born.

They trust me because somewhere along the way I have lost the ability to pretend.  Without the ability to pretend, I am a three legged goat, a one eyed horse, and a horse infused with dignity and not mere beauty.


How can I have the kind of job that I have yet spend nearly every other minute working with horses and kids?

 It is because of the courtroom that every other minute is spent in the horse lot.