Taming wild horses is not the most difficult thing that we do. Teaching natural horsemanship to kids is not the most difficult thing that we do. Riding safely in wet and rough terrain is not the most difficult thing that we do.
Motivating and managing kids is the most difficult thing that we do. Teaching kids to deal with fear is a tall wall to climb and cannot be done without supportive parents. If a parent says or does anything to reinforce the child's fear I have no card that can trump that. The horrible reality is if that fear results in a child who wants to ride quitting the ground work is laid for the child to develop or exacerbate one of America's most horrible mental health epidemics, anxiety disorder. (More about this complex issue in future posts).
A more irritating but less severe problem is dealing with the self centeredness and absolute lack of judgement that is a natural part of being a teenager. It is particularly ironic that 15 year olds need closer supervision than 8 year olds. I may have done some of these teens a disservice by being too tolerant of poor behavior and attitudes.
Here is the dilemma. I can make the program more enjoyable for myself and for other participants by simply expelling kids whose attitudes are detrimental to the program. However, I understand the tremendous therapeutic value of horses for those with difficulties in their lives. My pastures are not just play pens for perfect kids. They are places of growing and healing and to a great extent a healthy man is not in need of a doctor.
The bottom line is that I will not toss kids out of the program simply because they create problems but I will require kids, more so than I have ever done, to work on their problems and to use their time in the horse lot to improve themselves. Of course, for this effort to be effective I will have to have 100% support from the parents of my riders.
Our program is going to change significantly for the better in 2010. I hope that all of my little riders want to be part of those improvements.
Was it FDR who said that the greatest thing we have to fear is fear itself?
ReplyDeleteI think the hardest difficulties to overcome in life are rooted in ourselves. That's not to say that there aren't great external troubles to combat as well, but we carry our own souls with their joys and troubles wherever we go.
In dealing with horses, I have found that I, with whatever fears and self-absorption I bring to the pasture with me, am the most difficult obstacle to overcome.
I think you hit some nails on the head, Steve.