Monday, October 3, 2011

I Wish That All Alcoholics Were Bad People

That would make it easy to blame them and feel that they are only getting what they deserve. But that is not how it is. The best person that I ever knew was an alcoholic. At my very best I was never as caring and compassionate as was he. He was a better student than am I and was a better teacher than am I.

I would like to be able to scorn and feel superior to the alcoholics and drug addicts that I prosecute in court. It would certainly make my job easier. But I cannot do so. I prosecute good people. I send good people to jail because they do horrible things while they are drunk.

I would give anything to be able to cause alcoholics to trade in their addiction for mine. You cannot run away from your problems on a bar stool, but I have no problems that can keep up with my horses. You cannot make the pain go away with a bottle but if I ride far enough I find that there is no room in the saddle for me and the feelings that make life hurt so badly. You cannot make that good "click" that you feel when the third beer hits last, but the click that comes in after about the fifth mile of cantering on a cool day lasts for days after I unsaddle. You can feel powerful and fearless after you drink about half of a bottle of tequila, but you can actually become powerful and fearless after you start a pen full of half wild colts.

I hate alcohol. I despise it and were it living I would kill it.

I would be justified in doing so. It would be self defense.

No comments: